The Mission

Alright let’s get this kicked off. I am going to begin this introduction with a few disclaimers.

  • I am in no fashion a literary genius self proclaimed or otherwise
  • I have no college degrees or outstanding credentials that would indicate to you that I am someone worth listening to
  • I am just a normal man who wants more

Now that those have been handled we will move to the purpose of this blog. In the spirit of full disclosure the last couple of days I was writing out essentially the entirety of my life up until this current moment. This process was taking multiple hours and I was happy to do it, if a thought had not crossed my mind. Last night and today I had a bit of a revelation. I don’t really want to focus on the past and I don’t think anyone should. I can hear you now “But we need to look at our past for how to get better in the future.” You are most definitely right I do believe if we do not learn from our mistakes we are doomed to repeat them, but I want to direct my focus right here right now. Who am I right now because of the events in my life that lead up to this moment? The details of the events are of little consequence. What is important is how it changed you for the better or for the worse.

With this concept in my mind I will now approach this from a new angle. The overall purpose of this blog remains the same. Can I (and you if you choose to follow along) make my current circumstances more desirable, and lead myself into a long healthy fulfilling life. For that matter, can anyone accomplish this? We hear constantly especially in the self development world that anyone can become anything they want if only they put their mind to it and take action. Is that true? Can we trust the words of a man or woman already knee deep in success? Did they have some sort of magic driving force inside that only some of us are lucky enough to possess? The truth is I don’t think we can really know the truth until we find out for ourselves. This blog is essentially a declaration of war. I am currently willing to do whatever it takes, test all the tricks, give every ounce of dedication I have in my body to find the answer. At the end I am confident I will know what it is.

What is improvement? I am not going to list a Webster’s dictionary definition to improvement. I am only going to say what improvement means in the context of this situation to further develop a way of measuring “success”. Improvement is the reaching of goals that actively changes our current circumstances from destructive, depressing, and hopeless into something entirely different. Productive, energizing, and unlocking a sea of possibility. By this definition of improvement we fully create a measuring tool that defines success. Accomplishing daily goals (improving) which leads to the accomplishment of our largest goals and essentially our DREAMS.

Now that we have a way of measuring success and how to achieve success (or at least a theory) we need to First: Know our main goals (our vision of success) Second: Establish smaller goals to accomplish that actively lead us to our main goal. “Okay all makes sense so far… but what are my main goals?” So glad you asked. Now it is the time to be introspective. Now we need to create a baseline. What am I now? What about myself don’t I like? What about me in my daily habits or attitude is or feels destructive, depressing, and hopeless. To me that seems like the best way to start. NOW I will tell you who I am. Full disclosure I am giving you the uncut unedited unadulterated version of myself. I will not shy away from embarrassing aspects about my character. If I lie here I will lie to myself and then I will never improve. I suggest you do the same.

My name is Jay. I am 25 years old and currently an airborne paratrooper in the United States Army. I am unhappy with my day to day work life. I am overweight. At the time I started this journey I was 202 pounds of a lot of fat. (keep in mind my job requires me to have at least a base line of fitness but the bar isn’t that high.) I have an addiction to unhealthy food. I eat when I am uncomfortable and in my profession I am uncomfortable a lot. When the food doesn’t satisfy me and I still feel uncomfortable I masturbate. I am addicted to porn of any kind. You name it I have probably watched it (obviously within legal parameters). I have been single since I was 16 with my longest relationship with a woman being 1 month and a half. I have had flings with women in between but in total have only had sex with 3 women. I go through one can of smokeless tobacco a day (for the uninitiated that is a lot). I have quit multiple things in my life because of fear or lack of confidence. I don’t make nearly the money I want to and I have started to lose faith that woman could ever love me for who I am.

I believe this is enough material to get the ball rolling. Let’s take a look at what I wrote and break it down to root problems so we can create some main goals. We will start off with the beginning. “I am unhappy with my day to day work life.” Alright for me personally I believe there is a lack of fulfillment in what I do. I often do not struggle with what is required of me daily. The structure of promotions is supposed to weed out the people who skate by, but the reality is the Army has a retention problem so they essentially just hand out ranks to anyone who will stick around. I also often feel surrounded by people with a mindset that the job sucks and their life sucks and they cant wait to get out. The solution then I believe is to go for a stronger challenge. An occupation that will test me constantly and that will put me around people who also want to strive daily for improvement. This brings me to the first main goal.


Join the United States Army’s most elite. Become a Green Beret.

I have had the fortune in my career to work with the US Army special forces. They carry an allure and prestige about them that no one can resist. Their mindset is that of constant growth. They hold a job that you could not help but to hold with the utmost pride and confidence. ( Beyond the reasons I have listed here I have given this decision a significant amount of thought and truly believe it is my best course of action.) I believe this goal will knock out a few birds with one stone. “I am over weight” well to become a green beret you need to be an athlete and athletes are not over weight. “I am addicted to food” well you need a consistent healthy diet to become an athlete and you need to be an athlete to be a green beret. “I don’t make the money I want” Green berets make a significant amount of more money and their re-enlistment bonuses are sizeable. “I have quit multiple things in my life for fear or lack of confidence” You can’t quit if you want to be a green beret and you have to face your fears consistently with confidence. What I have listed and more is way more reason than I need to get cracking at this.

Now I will move back to the main paragraph to look at more things to develop main goals. “I am addicted to masturbating and porn.” I believe this one is pretty self explanatory.


Stop masturbating and watching porn for one year.

Not to much to explain about this one. What I will say if by some miracle a woman would choose to have sex with me I will not count that as masturbation (because it is not). Having sex with a woman would also be a version of success in my life currently as it has been over 3 years since I had sex.

My last goal is also pretty self explanatory


Quit using smokeless Tobacco

I have 4 more cans of tobacco. Once these cans are complete I will never buy another can.


Now I have created 3 main goals (if you’re reading this I hope you have too). These goals embody my current vision of success. Now we must direct ourselves to improvement (micro goals to accomplish to help reach our main goal.) This first blog has already been long. I will make a second blog structuring my micro goals and my daily and weekly plans to achieve them. I want to add at the end of this that my journey began earlier this week for blogging and my weight loss journey started nearly a month ago. I already have two days worth of daily blogs typed up and ready to be released. I will release those at the same time I release this. Just understand you’re not missing anything I have not created most of my micro goals at the time of this blog. I have already put in work to help me reach my first goal, but the other two goals are fresh and new to me and start the day I release this. I will continue to update you daily (working permitting) about my progress and about how I am feeling.

Published by manwithoutafather

I am just a man who wants to live a better life.

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